so..life huh?

Let’s be real. Sometimes it can be a pain in the ass when it comes down to making decisions. And when I’m talking decisions I partly mean random things such as picking out a new nail polish or picking a dress for that boring tea party at your neighbors. But those aren’t the only decisions we’re told to make. Bigger things, much bigger things are waiting every day for us to be decided on. How am I supposed to make a life deciding deal with 18? How am I supposed to deal with a death of someone I love at the age of 20? What else is this thing called life asking me to decide and expecting me to handle right with so little knowledge? I am at an age where I have nothing really big accomplished and nothing really big ahead of me. This sucks. I mean- I’ve completed High School, I’m in college (even though I’m still overthinking if I’ve chosen the right major) and well, that’s about it. No boyfriend, no social life but a whole bunch of questions that need to be answered. By me. For me. Should I be worried that sometimes I don’t feel like I belong in here? Not fitting in this box people around me try to fit me in? That daughter with good manners and a little bit too much weight on? That annoying sister that always gives in and forgives first? That friend that is always a shoulder to cry on but never in a million years would talk about her own feelings? What if I don’t want to be named things? What if I want to be more? Want to be different? It’s not like it’s their fault that I am this way. These are my decisions. But again- I ask myself why I chose things to be in a particular way.

I can’t be the only one dealing with this right? There have to be people out there that feel the same right? Cause if this is the case- holy crap I’m screwed. There have to be a way to figure out how to deal with these things. And by things I mean these weird thoughts in my head.

Well, here I am. Willing to figure them out. For me. For you. For everyone dealing with this crap. I can’t promise you that I will invent a magical pill that will solve all of your problems, but I will try to find a way to deal with certain things and if they work out- you’ll be the first to know.

So jump on the band wagon and come along with me on a probably very bumpy ride through my life and thoughts.

 

Umm hi there?!

Wow..its been over a year since I've lastly posted something here! 

BloggerPeople- I’ve missed you...

SO..what’s the news? Nothing really, except for the changes I made in my life. Stop worrying, seizing each and every day and forgiving people that hurt me.

Sounds all too easy, but believe me it’s not. Life can be tricky..no lemme correct that: Life IS tricky. It pushes you in all kind of directions- good AND bad and it is our decision to make which path we’ll take. It took me a good while to understand this concept and it took me enough time to tell you that my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, mistakes, happy times and bad times. 

What really matters in the end is how we move on from the past. Will we be making the same mistakes over and over again, or will we be able to hold on for a second and lead ourselves in the right direction?

In the end we are the ones that lead ourselves. No one can or should tell you what to do and who you really are. Take your time, breathe in, be yourself and decide what is best for you.

You’ll see…everything will fall into place…eventually.

I remember why I actually started this blog over a year ago. I was not confindent in my skin, not happy with me and my life and certainly not who I am today.

To be honest I had a lot of up and down's in the last months..or years. Nothing was going the way I wanted it to go. I was constantly worrying and unhappy, but I never really changed anything. I told myself that I did, but i remained the same old self for a long time. But when a life altering moment occurs something inside us changes. And all we can hope for is that the change is for the better. 

I'm here again, because I'm different now. I feel different. I came clear with myself and I want you to become clear with yourselves, too. It wont be easy. Nothing comes easy. But together we can do this.

All my love xx